martes, 7 de julio de 2009

Huacalaraches huaraches!

Hace unos domingos me encontré en la disyuntiva de qué hacer con mi apetito de comida mexicana, por aquello de que ya no me atienden en Jalisco. Recordé que alguien me había mencionado huaraches, así que revolcamos la internet buscando la dirección (nunca un restaurante se escondió mejor en la red).
Finalmente, muertos de hambre nos dirigimos allá, bajo una lluviecilla constante que, debimos haber notado, era un mal presagio.
De entrada la peste a muertico en parrilla me golpeó la nariz hasta que me supo a tierra, pero una chica vestida de mexicana tradicional con una gran sonrisa nos hizo olvidarlo un poco mientras nos dirigía a una mesa. El alivio me duró poco eso sí, porque nos sentaron prácticamente en la cocina.
Luego de una espera algo larga vino un mesero más serio que un pleito de machetes a tomarnos la orden. Pronto descubrí que no era seriedad, era simple cerotada. No hacía por dónde ofrecernos un plato que al menos pudiéramos comer, deje de lado algo que quisiéramos. Finalmente pedimos unas flautas de papa (no natilla no queso) y un burrito vegetariano (no natilla no queso).
Bueno, que le digo! Tenía más sabor mi maridito bailando merengue que esa comida. La salvaba un platón con 5 salsas diferentes y deliciosas. Una de chipotle, otra de tomatillo, una de tomate rojo, un pico de gallo y una de chile picante. Sin eso simplemente hubiera dejado las cabronas flautas tiradas y me hubiese largado.
Según ale el burrito se dejaba comer, nada especial pero decente; eso sí, los hongos los tuvo que pagar aparte porque el plato no los incluía. Las flautas de papa estaban sencillamente asquerosas, me comí dos por no desperdiciar, pero de verdad que fatales. Por más salsas que les puse, por más sal, era como estar tomando aceite y masticando chicles de tortillas tiesas.
Y bueno, el personal se va ganando el premio del peor staff de restaurante que he visto en la vida. Debido posiblemente a que estábamos tan cerca de la cocina nos tocó verlos pelear por quién llevaba qué plato, por quién tenía turno de almorzar, nos tocó ver a una mesera destragarse de una forma que me hizo pensar que esta niña traía los calzones como por el colon, en fin, que la parte oscura del lugar.
Me deja pensando que no debiera llamarse huaraches, si no huacalaraches

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